Relationship
by PsychoticEvil
Summary: They can never be in love out in the open where anyone can see...but they hoped that one day it didn't have to be that way.
1. Rin

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha, don't sue. I'm flat broke right now…damn movies

Heyo! I have reposted the first chapter of Relationships since I could see some stuff wrong with it and because I wanted to get back into writing! Therefore…welcome to the First Chapter of Relationship! Or until I find a better name…-sulks-

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Chapter 1 

Rin

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The only way that I could possibly describe this, is that it is an odd relationship that breaks all laws of logic, the one that he and I share, with Jaken in the background. He hates humans, and he hates them unwaveringly so, so that no one can doubt that what he says is true. But I who should believe him most of all, doubt it, for he has often shown odd mercy towards them which was not mercy unless they could understand how it was mercy. He allows them to continue life without obliterating them for he is not a demon that kills merely for the joy, he kills because they get in his way. For my lord makes no exceptions and if that was true, why I'd be dead on the spot you see.

Yet if I'm wrong, and if I am it's not much of a surprise, it is altogether too easy to see why he hates and looks down on humans so much. His kind, that is to say youkai are generally faster than humans, more powerful than us, and in most cases, more beautiful and far cleverer than we could ever hope to be(yes, Jaken and other lower classes are an exception). From nearly every angle that you could look at it from, youkai are the human's superior, and if the phrase, survival of the fittest were true, then we, the humans should never have been able to survive this long without the mercy of the youkai. Yet, think of it this way if you would, in a strange and bizarrely distorted way, we human's think the same as the youkai do; we are superior to insects and plain animals, we look down on them and choose to crush or kill them, but sometimes they bite back. In this way, the youkai look at us humans exactly the same way that humans look at the poor, dumb creatures.

Yet while we pitiful and weak humans may be so inferior to the youkai, I cannot help but think that if we should try to reach an understanding, that we will see that when dissected to the core, the humans and demons are not as different as we may like to think. However much the demons may hate humans, I can not deny that the humans despise and loathe the youkai in exactly the same way.

They also agree on some points such as the fact that most ningen and youkai agree that they simply cannot live together in peace, that they are more superior than the other and that the other deserves to rot. However, I must say that youkai are more, how shall I say, civilized about such things, as they will merely kill the ningen because the humans disgust them. Humans make such matters so very complicated, they cannot give a simple reason as to _why_ they kill and loathe the youkai, they did this, they did that, this person told them that this happened, and that they are impure and should be purified, therefore being sent straight to hell. There are two points to the last statement that I would like to discuss with my lord, if we should ever have the time...and if he should agree which is highly doubtful.

The first point that disturbs me somewhat, is the bold and self righteous statement that demons are impure. How conceited and proud can we inferior creatures get, to condemn demons as being impure when we are just as sinful as they are? Everyone is just as impure as the other, there is no point to judging wrong for wrong for no one is ever completely in the right, and there are even youkai purer than we I believe. My own kind looked down upon and abused me and human bandits stole from me my home, my village, as twisted as it was and chased me to my death which the wolves finally brought upon me, yet it was an 'impure' and 'dirty' youkai that saved me from the depths of death and despair and youkai who have watched me for the past years; who then I ask of you, youkai or human, is the tainted one in that equation?

Then I wish to know why it is that a youkai automatically deserves to be sent to hell, and yet they also like to say that a demon is soulless. Yet, to my limited and admittedly naïve knowledge, if one should be headed towards hell then a soul is indeed required. What a unique paradox this turns out to be then, is it not, and how unfair if being born as a youkai condemns one to be sent to hell for a 'crime' that they could not control. However, my theory is that humankind and youkai are once more in similarity, as they both posses a consciousness which will allow them to make their own choices which they will be held accountable for, and it is these decisions which will decide the rest of their fate, although I can only imagine what my lord's and Jaken's faces would look like if I should tell them this theory of mine.

From the very beginning, my lord and I have known that this relationship of ours was damned from the very, _very_ start, due to its incongruity. A taiyoukai who is most known for his blatant disgust of ningen and a resurrected human girl whose fear of humankind is far more potent than her fear of youkai, traveling together with the guise of nothing more than human servant and lord youkai. Then there is Jaken who stays at our Lord's fortress more and more, due to his inevitable age and the new found responsibilities he has stumbled upon who claims that I am useless but cares for me nevertheless.

Our correlation has always been an uneasy and bumpy road and so many others with the intent on separating the two of us, and though my lord acts as though he doesn't care what should happen to me, he still comes after me, to save me from whatever may get in my way. I have been kidnapped when my lord was lured away by the threat of war or as a distraction, nearly killed when I'd wandered too far from my lord, and killed when my lord had first found me and with his grace and mercy, he has saved and rescued me from whatever harm I may have been in. In return, I have given him next to nothing, with only a smile, a heartfelt thanks and a bouquet of flower which he receives with an almost undetectable nod and stashes them away somewhere.

Despite all the odds however, he is mine just as much as I am his. He may consider me however he wishes, his property, his servant, his companion, his entertainment, it matters to me not at all, just as long as he continues to allow me to follow him forever, and so I am his, and he is mine, my liberator, my lord, my savior, the only person in this whole world who cares for me as well as master Jaken. We coexist awkwardly but determinedly, despite what anyone else may say, despite the border between youkai and human, right or wrong.

So how can I say otherwise; I love my lord far more than I could have ever loved my family by blood, my fellow humans, I value my lord far more than my life or my mortal soul. I really must thank Kouga once I get over my fear of wolves, if it weren't for him, Lord Sesshomaru would not have let me follow him. But yes, if he should ask me for my short life or my human soul I would give it to him willingly, as long as I could remain by his side forever for if he should ever leave me I fear that this heart of mine will break and shatter so that it could never be forged again, not even by the most expert smiths.

It's impossible to hide anything from my lord though, so I believe that he already knows, but though he may know, he never tells. I have loved him since he revived me, since I saw something like family reflected in him, the love that one may have for a guardian. Yet in time, my love has evolved into this, something heart wrenching, something that makes my heart throb and most likely implode on itself one day.

Every time a female demon, a lord's daughter, or just a regular wench passed by and flirted with him shamelessly or when his time of heat came and I was sent away for maybe a week, I felt like shrinking out of sight so that no one could see the anxiety haunting my eyes. My heart would begin to race faster than any animal's when it was running from its hunter and this would last for hours, for days until I was united with my lord again, and when my lord had turned that cold, disdainful gaze upon the females, then my heart would slow down with a breath of relief. Yes, sometimes they hurled curses at his human companion who lacked all the womanly charms that he should desire, he would glare at them, effectively shutting them up before turning away to walk away with me at his side. He always had an amused expression in his eyes when he turned back to me those precious moments, as if letting me in on a secret just between him and me.

But in his own way, his own unusually subtle way I think he loves me in return, just enough I think so that I, but no one else knows. No fairy tale endings exist for the two of us though, no matter how I wish it were so, thus keeping me in anxiety until I can tell him those tender words proudly and wait for his answer, which in all honesty, could be anything . There are no secret and sweet kisses in the dark for us, no sweet murmurs of charming nothings, any compassion and affection for me in every moment is severely lacking and we know that my lord may not always be able to save me, powerful though he is. We know we can not acknowledge our love for each other at this moment if it even exists on his part, not like his half brother Inuyasha and his lover Kagome, or like their companions, the demon slayer and the lecherous monk.

No, the unacknowledged love that we hold for each other is silent, not recognized, merely there, waiting in the shadows. Anyone else, I believe, would go altogether crazy, in this kind of relationship without knowing for sure of the other party's feeling and give up without the devotion we both hold for each other. _I _nearly go crazy in this whack job of a relationship at the smallest signs of affection, me presenting him with a bouquet of flowers (much more neat after I learned the art of flower arranging I must say) him accepting it quietly and tucking it away in his obi, him killing for me and my honor which is also in a way his.

We both know however, that this love must remain secret until the end of my life comes, or until we should find a way to match my lifetime to his, or perhaps, although this is almost impossible, to make his heir youkai. It drives me up the wall and I cannot help but I feel half mad knowing that we're so close that with a simple move I could embrace him to me, tightly, but yet we're universes apart.

Moreover, there are times such as this, when I feel my frustration reach its peak and where tears begin to sting my eyes with disquiet and raging torment so that sometimes I want to relinquish this love, if only to grant me peace, but I know if I were given the chance, still, I would not give it up. In times like this though, night eventually arrives, covering the world with its dark blanket and a fire must crackle to bring warmth when the winds are cold and the moon is silent, hiding behind clouds. My lord sees though, sees that I am fit to weep and catches me off guard, by wrapping his arm around me and draws me close to him, to his chest which is strangely absent of his armor, so that my head rests against his chest. And so I lay there with his once absent arm resting around my shoulders heavily, I close my eyes tightly and bury my head into his clothes and breathe in the absolute and overpowering scent that is my lord, and as I reflect, I can feel, as well as hear, his heart beating steadily with as much might as he possesses and gently it coaxes me into a healing and gentle rest which soothes my frustrations and quiet the raging storm within myself and then I find that I can wait again. I would never, ever trade anything in this world for our affiliation, for I know that one day we can be happy, though it will not be in the way that other people consider happiness. Then perhaps, maybe I will be allowed to soothe the silent sufferings of my lord, just like he's soothed me all these years.

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Hah!This will actually go somewhere as well, and please enjoy. Okay, so here's how it's going to go. Three POVs, one in Rin (done), one for Sesshomaru (in progress), and one from Jaken, and then the story'll really begin. Oh, and PLEASE review. 


	2. Sesshomaru

Disclaimer: NO! I DO _NOT_ OWN INUYASHA! -goes to corner and has a breakdown-

Taro: Um...Is she having emotional problems?

Rae: No...idea.

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Chapter 2

Sesshomaru

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_Sesshomaru…do you have someone to protect?_

When I had been asked that question as a young child, I knew what my answer was, there was no need to think. I had lost everything years ago, even things that hadn't belonged to me, and so the only thing I could have kept was the urge for conquest. It was my negligible father's entire fault as well, if he could have just kept himself faithful to his mate then she wouldn't have died of heartbreak.

My mother, strangely enough, was a powerful and beautiful Inuyoukai with all the grace and mercy of a nun. She was gentle and loving and took joy in all things that walked on this earth, even humans which I hadn't minded so very much back then. She was the one who shaped my life during my early years, the one who made it so I knew things other than war, showed me the values and duties of being a youkai. Yet I'd lost all sight of those things when my father shunned her for that human female and made it so that she died of a broken heart, letting another demon fight her, and win. She bled to death in my very arms, telling me all the other things that my father never would have and made me promise so many things which I wonder at, such as that I would never kill my bastard half brother.

And so far, I have kept my vows, though one day I fear he will push me far too much so that I will be forced to kill him…though when that happens, I will have to have a very long talk with my mother. Quite honestly though, the damn boy is that infuriating the way he fights, it's so very sloppy and undignified of the Inuyoukai line, even if he _is_ a hanyou.

_Do I have someone to protect? _

Though I have answered no so many times, with the winter night and the day of battles as my witness, in the face of the moon and Souunga, why then, did I bother protecting the little fool and Jaken as well as Rin. I could have indirectly brought about the end of the hanyou's miserable life. Yet I saved him, and my retainers with hardly a thought and sealed Souunga with my brother.

Why! These questions dance around in my mind, continuing to haunt me and torment me with the answers, so close, but so far, too far to reach. Softly growling, I cannot help but to wonder at why the fates have such a sense of humor, they really do not have anything better to do.

Things have changed though, I am no longer the Killing Perfection that everyone has known, and I am merely Lord Sesshomaru now, the protector and Lord of the Western Lands. The hatred I have felt for my half brother and disgust for humans have faded until it is the smallest of sparks although the bitterness I feel for my father still remains, there is no chance of it ever fading away.

Sometimes, like this night, I wonder why, but then an image surfaces from the swirling mass of thoughts that haunt my mind and I smile at the fresh smiling face softly, dryly.

_Rin._

Do I have someone to protect? The answer I can give now, is yes, there is some I have to protect, for times have changed much after Naraku's death. The child, Rin wandered into my world of winter quietly, bringing with her a gentle sun which warmed the ice to Spring, and the young woman Rin has made an imprint on my heart which can never be taken away.

Rin stares into the fire with a haunted look in her raw eyes and I know what it is that gives her this madness and I know that it is difficult to alleviate this grief and anxiety she holds me. So I soothe her troubled mind the only way I know how, the only way I could, and proceed to reach out to her and wrap my arms (Yes two) around her, holding her against my chest where no one can see us. She takes comfort in my nearness and I can sense the thunder in her lithe form fade as she relaxes and I am glad. I know very well that she loves me, and she despairs that she can never say it, but I am willing to wait. I hold her to me tightly as she falls steadily asleep and I continue to watch the night sky, never letting go. For this Sesshomaru needs the spring to counteract his winter, and I am possessive of what is mine.

I have once said that love was for the weak, but if I should hold true to that, I believe I can continue to be weak…only for Rin.

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Sesshomaru: WHAT? I AM NOT WEAK!

Psycho: Sure you aren't.

Sesshomaru: It's time for you to die! -draws Tokijin-

Psycho: Crap...see you peoples! Please drop a review and, cha!


	3. Jaken

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha...haven't you people ever read this enough so that it goes without saying?

Apologies: I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED! I was busy, I swear, but I've been working on this...kind of hard because Jaken is sort of hard to do. He's a bit OOC too, but, oh well.

Note: I shall have the next update out before my birthday...or on my birthday which is on the 18th! bliss

Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!

Oh well, anyway, have fun reading, it was hard typing this in the old geezer's POV. And drop a review, it's motivation.

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Chapter 3

Jaken

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Sometimes I wonder why I continue to follow my lord Sesshomaru and Rin, but I do not ponder it for too often, it will only give this imp a fearful headache, not that the girl Rin doesn't still give me any. Alas, she is only human, and even if we have fixed her of most of her intolerable traits, there are some things you just can not take out of a human's personality.

My lord Sesshomaru is a powerful demon, well on his way to overcoming his father, but in the time I have known him, he has been greatly changed, ever since and even more so since he'd resurrected that girl Rin with his sword of healing, Tensaiga. I managed to convince myself it was merely a test by my master for a month or two, but though I may be old, my mind still works as well as ever you know, I've still got some tricks up _my_ sleeve and I am perfectly aware of what goes on.

I am currently gazing outside of the fortress' large windows, remembering everything that has happened between the time we first met the human girl until now, and I see now that change was inevitable, although it is still all too surprising, seeing the way she has changed our lives. The outside of this fortress was once made of dirt and covered with grass and trees as well as some blood which had been spilt a while before, but no longer; nay, it is now blooming with life that this human girl seeded and nurtured until they bloomed, transforming the way this fortress looked, until it was no longer so formidable, but how it must have looked when his mother still lived.

As it was, Rin has also done this to Sesshomaru's state of mind which was once so formidable and cold, and though it is no less powerful, his countenance has changed, no longer seeming to live in a world of winter, but all the seasons once more. I can simply wonder as to how Rin managed that feat but I do not care any longer, do not wonder, for it was inevitable that once he traveled with a human for a period of time, he too, should become more…merciful in turn.

As the years passed, Rin seems to have found her way into the hearts of my lord and me, however odd it may seem, and her loyalty is utterly unyielding, refusing to even think about leaving, no matter how foolish the notion is. Yes, she is deeply devoted to us, and even more strangely, she seems not to care for her own kind, fearing them even more than the youkai who could easily destroy her and sometimes I wonder what may happen to this foolish girl with the naïve mind in the end if my lord does not protect her from the world's cruelties, but perhaps she is already aware, she has already endured some of the hardships that other humans have not, for example, she has died already.

But as the years have passed, I have opted to remain at the fortress more and more rather than travel with Ah-Un, Lord Sesshomaru, and Rin, for though these people are the people I shall remain devoted to, I have foreseen the impossible coming to life and though I myself have been sorely against it for Kami knows how long, I only think it right that I not interfere.

Lord Sesshomaru and Rin have surely and unavoidably begun to fall in love, if they have not already; I would not know for sure as I know that once they have realized their mutual feelings, they will try to hide it for the safety of Rin and others involved.

Our travels are differing as well, instead of mindlessly wandering, I believe that my lord searches for something, perhaps a way to extend Rin's lifetime without cursing her to the fate of a monster, which has happened several times before when others have tried a certain and well known way, an exchanging of blood. The ways we go are lengthy, but at a reasonable pace and we stop at times when my lord and Rin disappear for a period of time, but they always come back, discouraged, but only from the way that Rin presents herself; my lord would never allow us to know what confusing emotions go through his mind.

Yet that is not of importance now, the important thing is that my lord and Rin find the way to become unified as is their wish, with no fear for what may happen to the Western Lands, and so I shall remain behind, taking care of the politics and direct the forces which would follow my Lord's directions, even if their lives were forfeit. In this way, I can serve my Lord Sesshomaru without hindering him from his objective and thus my lord and Rin shall hasten towards their goal. For I am ever their loyal servant (and caretaker), Jaken.


	4. And So It Begins

Sorry for the insanely short chapter and the wait...I had promotion and things to deal with as well as my b-day and father's day which was yesterday. So, belated Father's Day everyone!

Please enjoy this chapter and drop a review if you can!

Chapter 4

And so it begins

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"Are you sure that you won't be coming with us this time as well, Jaken-san?" Rin directed her question at Jaken with a sweet expression, apparently unaware of exactly why the retainer was not coming with them. She was drastically confused as to the sudden change, since there had once been a time that Jaken-san had been tailing them anxiously and refused to stay behind, but it seemed that more and more now that Lord Sesshomaru and her had been alone. Not that that was a bad thing, but it just seemed odd that Jaken-san would suddenly change and remain behind.

"Very well Jaken, continue with your work here, you know the consequences if you don't." Jaken nodded almost fearfully, although they all knew that Sesshomaru would do nothing more than either step on Jaken's head or throw a big boulder at his face and crush the poor imp. Or perhaps he'd kill Jaken quickly and then end up reviving him again and resume daily life. Of course, Sesshomaru on the other hand, knew exactly what Jaken was up to and why he was like this; Jaken obviously knew about the situation with Sesshomaru and Rin, but Sesshomaru didn't really mind, as long as Jaken didn't try to do anything to interfere, and of course, he knew well enough not to.

Jaken nodded and scurried off with a, "Return soon Sesshomaru-sama, Rin! Make sure to take care of the beast Ah-Un, eh?" The 'beast' was decidedly offended and butted the imp in the back, hard, so that Jaken hit the ground flat on his face. Jaken picked himself up, still ignoring Rin's hand of help, but it didn't matter for either of them, they were fine that way; that was how she'd grown up, anything different would unnerve her. Jaken shook his fist at the dragon-demon and shouted curses at the 'fool dragon' and Rin tried to get the two to go opposite ways and stop Ah-Un from trying to stop the holder of the staff. Meanwhile, Sesshomaru merely headed east and began to walk away with a simple order that everyone in their group had been hearing for years…and years…and years. "Rin, Ah-Un…come."

"Hai Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin turned and waved to Jaken briefly before running off again. "Bye bye, Jaken-san! I'll miss you!" She waved and ran off after her Lord Sesshomaru, waist length hair flying behind her, tied back at the nape of her neck, skirts flying behind her until she caught up with her lord. Her lord never stopped, even once they were in the secluded areas of the forest, even when he heard the heavier breathing of the other.

"Have you caught up Rin?" His expression was the same as ever, nothing all too new as he didn't even glance back at the young girl, and continued on. Rin smiled as she continued on before deciding that she was tired and climbed onto Ah-Un's back.

"Yes Sesshomaru-sama!" The dog lord didn't reply to this at all and instead just continued to stride forward, not smiling or anything of the sort, merely continuing onwards; his thoughts filled with images and goals, most of them concerning his naïve human companion. Likewise, Rin's mind was filled with admiration and heart bursting love for her lord, love which she just barely restrained, sometimes gripping Ah-Un's reins tighter than she needed to. Love could be such a mysterious and painful force sometimes…and while both hated it at times, they would never give it up.

Day turned into night and the small group stopped for the night. Rin slowly cooked a hare that her lord had caught for her after skinning it and stared into the fire, transfixed on several things at once. In the fire, she saw things flicker into view and then fade away again; the wind mistress Kagura, Kohaku, Sesshomaru's brother Inuyasha, Lady Kagome and Kikyo, Jaken…and Sesshomaru again. There were many images of Sesshomaru that she could see and most were pleasant and peaceful…but then she saw death and failure. She saw herself withering away with age and dying in Sesshomaru-sama's powerful arms…and her eyes blurred and salty tears ran down Rin's youthful face and Sesshomaru instantly worried. He did what he did every night though, nothing more, nothing less, and gently brought Rin's head into his chest and ever so slightly rocked her, his hands in her hair until she slept, and Sesshomaru resolved to find her immortality even sooner.

The day passed by quickly and uneventfully without being attacked by any youkai this was mainly Sesshomaru-sama's doing, or any such thing. Indeed, the day went by so normally, it was inevitable that something would happen eventually, and happen it would. For after all, a prideful demon and a naïve human would always have problems.

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So... 


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